My mini fridge.

I just stood there, looking at that fridge.

It was... It was beautiful.

In the most classic, purest, true form of the word.

It was beautiful.

Never has a fridge caused such a rush of emotions in my life, and I would venture to guess never again shall it. To be honest tears almost started to form in my eyes. It was one of the weirdest things.
But ode to my mini fridge.

How I love thee.

As I saw it sitting there in the garage completely discarded and abandoned I remembered when I got that fridge. I remember when I had it in my room. I remember the feeling of stocking it and opening it up to get a drink. I remember how the fridge was just down the hall. But this one was mine. My fridge.
I could put whatever I wanted in there.

I never remember having something that I couldn't have refrigerated in the regular fridge. But remember loving that I had my own. I got it, and I used it when I lived in California.

Redding, California.

I loved that year.
Every part of it.

But that year passed.

And so did the one the followed. The one where I sunk into depression. The one that sucked.

The good, the bad. It just all slips away into the past. It's gone.
And no matter how hard I try to recreate the past, to jump back into the way things used to be. It all slips away.

I've seen amazing things in my life. I'm only 19 too. I have lots ahead of me.
I've seen some pretty bad stuff too.

But I've noticed. The bad in my life.
I make it a lot worse. I choose to have a bad attitude. I choose to stay in a bad mood. It's my choice. It's completely my choice.

And I want to be done with that. So today. Tomorrow. And the days that follow. I choose to see God in all of it. I choose to see His plan, His will, His provision. Through it all. Through failures, faults, and success.


God, I give you myself. Take whatever You want from me. Test my heart. Purify me. I want to be fully  Yours. Always. Refine me in Your fire.