Regret and Eternity
What do we do with regret in the face of an eternal God who has forgiven us of everything that separates us from Him?
What do we do with wrong choices. Ones that we feel carry with them so much weight. Ones that we look back on and think, "what if I had just never..."
It's so easy to hold onto past choices and think about every other outcome that would now be a reality if only... if only I had done this, or didn't do that, or waited an extra year, or minute, or day. What if.... What if I hadn't moved, or I did. We play the situations over and over again trying to make the best choice with hindsight as our only reference. We hold onto our mistakes and the regret that attaches itself with it.
But here's the thing: When I think about an infinite God who sent His only Son to die in my place, I don't see much room in that equation for regret. I don't see much room in there for me dwelling on what I did wrong. When I think about that, I hardly find room to think about myself at all.
See the thing about regret is that what it really is, is us focusing on what we did wrong rather than what God did for us. It's Him saying, "I forgive you." and it's us responding with, "But LOOK at what I did! And look! If I had just done this..."
It's us saying that we could have fixed the problem. It's really just the fruit of pride coming out.
And maybe it's not always about what we could or should have done. Maybe it's just regret that adds weight to our souls. Like lead stuck itself to us and just slows us.
Equally I see no spot for regret. I see a God who is begging us to forgive ourselves because He did long ago, and He simply wants our thoughts to aline with His. I see a God who calls us to live as people who are redeemed, not stuck in thoughts about their old ways.
I've been going back and forth lately over and over again about choices I've made. Decisions that now have set a direction for my life, and it's easy to question if they were right or not. But when I take my eyes off of me, even for a moment, I see a much bigger picture being painted, and I see that, yes, my choices very much have consequences, some good and some bad, but I see a God who named Himself Love, and I see He's still very much in control and not afraid. And I don't find much room for regret. In the face of eternity, I don't find much room for regret.
I just see You. Calling me. Beckoning me forward.