Homesick.

Today is a rainy but beautiful day. There is a chill in the air that gives me comfort. Today is a day you listen to Bluebird of Happiness by Mojave 3. (Look it up, trust me.)

Today is one of those thought-provoking-look-inside type of days... I don't like when people string words together using hyphens. I am slightly angry at myself for that.

I've been really struck by this verse in the Old Testament. I feel that it gives up a perfect picture of what Christ did for us. 2 Kings 25:29 "So Jehoiachin put aside his prison clothes and for the rest of his life ate regularly at the king's table."

We are children of God! We are no longer captive to sin and death, but we have been freed and invited to feast at the King's table! This verse moves me every time I read it.

It reminds me of the verse in 1 John 3:1 "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

But the truth is, for me at least, is that I forget. Most of the time I forget that I have been called to put aside my prison clothes, I forget my Dad is the King. I forget that I have the Spirit that Jesus had in Him. But I also forget that just believe in God isn't enough. Because after all even the demons believe in Christ, and they shutter. I don't want to live a life where I just believe in the power of the cross. I want it to be a part of my life. I want to be doing the work of God. I don't want to stop till God puts me on like a glove, like He did with Gideon. I want to be like Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

I have been reading his biography written by Eric Metaxas for the last few months... It's a long book... But I would suggest it to everyone.

Bonhoeffer was a pastor during WWII, he was one of the main voices against Hitler and his Third Reich. He was involved in an assassination attempt of Hitler. He was a man completely surrendered to the will of God. I want to live like he did. Dietrich was killed in the Flossenburg Concentration Camp. After his death one of the doctors who saw it said this, "In the almost fifty years that I worked as a doctor, I have hardly ever seen a man die so entirely submissive to the will of God."

In one of Bonhoeffer's sermons he said, "No one has yet believe in God and the kingdom of God. No one has yet heard about the realm of the resurrected, and not been homesick from that hour, waiting and looking forward joyfully to being released from bodily existence.... Death is hell and night and cold, if it is not transformed by our faith. But that is just what is so marvelous, that we can transform death."

As you look at his teachings and letters it seems as though he knew for some time what God was calling him to. He counted it a joy to be called to such things.

How often do we ask God to take away any pain or hardship in our lives? How often do we hear the sermon about how God only wants us to prosper? Sometimes what is best for us so to go through that. And Christ is calling us to suffer well. To worship Him through it all. I want to suffer well. I want to follow Christ wherever He leads me. I truly believe God always has what's best for me in mind, but that does not mean it will be easy. "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome this world."

I forget.

I forget that I am not my own. I was bought at a price.

I am not my own, I was bought at a price.

Your life is not your own, you where bought at a price.


I fail. Often. And sadly a lot of the time that moves me to a place where I question God would choose me. That is not how we are suppose to respond when we sin. When we fall short. It should push us to worship. Because, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. It is not my spot to question God's choice, His faithfulness, or His love. Can the clay say to the potter what are you making? No, we are called to forget what is behind and strive for what is ahead.

God is good. I love You Jesus.