Fighting for Nicole and self-worth.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some; it’s in all, everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson

I don't know many six year olds who struggle with self image.
I don't know five year olds who struggle with depression.
They simply live in the moment. They aren't worried about what others think.

In kindergarten my best friend, Ted Fisher, and I "fought" over a girl who we were both convinced we would marry, Nicole Dore.

I never remember comparing myself to Ted, we were equal, it was really just a matter of who would she pick. If my best friend and I were both going for the same girl today, I wouldn't be able to stop comparing myself to him in my mind.

And as we compare ourselves, or at least when I compare myself, I always lose.
I see the good in others and the bad in me. I always come up short.

 Is my fear actually that I am powerful beyond measure? I've thought for so long that it was me being inadequate.

But I am not. I know I am not. I have friends who remind me that I have worth, that I have value to them.
If it's by them telling me directly, calling me up to get Gene and Jude's at midnight, or rewriting a Dr. Seuss book.

My friends remind me that I have worth. I am important to them. I have value. And I am a beloved child of God.There is a scene (Yes, Katie Dyer I spelled it write this time. Thank you for all your reminders. ((Yes I did spell right the wrong way, I was trying to be funny. I love you Kate.)) ) in one of my favorite movies, V for Vendetta, where one of prisoners writes a letter, an autobiography, on a piece of toilet paper. Her intentions is that hopefully some other prisoner would get it and find hope in it. She ends the note with,

"But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie."
I want you to know, whoever you are, that you are loved. You have value. You have worth. If you've ever struggled with the thought that you are not good enough, that all others are better than you, that no one could love you. I want you to know that it is not true. You are loved by the very Creator of the universe. You are loved by Love Himself. He is chasing after you, He rejoices over you with singing. His love is far better than anything else this world has to offer. 
You don't need to be held down by your failures anymore. You are forgiven. You are free. Christ has set you free. 
And above all else. 
You are loved.