MICHAEL DYER
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​A LUMBERING SOUL
​BUT TRYING TO FLY

It's Just a Paycheck

10/28/2019

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Below is an excerpt from my first ever blog- It's Just a Paycheck. It was a chronicle of my life while working at Panera Bread. 

Enjoy.

-----

Day 287 of captivity.

I write to you as a servant in chains to capitalism. Each day I have to come back to this prison- put on my khaki pants, a neutral colored polo, my name tag, a beige hate, and don a smile.

The sheep wonder in because that is what they do- they flock to the easiest solution for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

"Hi! Welcome to Panera. How are you doing today?"

They walk right past me, so entangled in their own thoughts and world that they don't even have the common decency to acknowledge my existence. This place makes me question my existence.

"I'm doing well too in case you are wondering..." I murmur to myself.

Someone should have taught these people how to interact with other humans. But, I might be expecting a lot out of sheep.

A man walks up to my register.

"Hi, how are you doing today?"
"Good, you?"
"I'm..."
"Alright, I'll have.."

I should probably let this man know that normally after asking a question of how someone is, it's common courtesy to wait for a response.

"...ahhh, hmm well actually I'm not sure what I'll have."

Well it's really good you figured that out at the register while a line is building up behind you. But ohhh no don't worry, they can wait. It's all about you.

"How's that Sierra Turkey sandwich?"

Oh so now you want me to speak? 

"It's great, it's got chipotle mayo, field greens, onions, and turkey."

What I should probably tell him is that it tastes like a lunchable. 
But I don't think Mother Bread would like that.
Mother Bread is always watching.

"Alright give me that."
"Good choice! And would you like bread, apple or chips with that?"
"That sounds good."

Oh I'm sorry sir, maybe you don't understand how this works. I gave you three options. You have to pick one. You can't just say yes. 
"Sorry which one did you want?"
"Bread apple."

What on earth do you think bread apple is!? Have you even eaten one? Have you ever even heard of one? 

"I'm sorry again, it is a slice of bread, a whole apple, or a bag of chips. I should have made that more clear."
"So I can't get apple chips?"
"Unfortunately not."
"ahh, fine. I'll have... Wait bread comes on the sandwich right?"

I do believe that is one of the defining features of a sandwich. It's what differentiates from a salad, a wrap, or soup.
"Yes."
"So why would I want bread with that? I mean..."

I don't need to know your reasoning behind what you choose sir, I just need an answer.

"...if bread comes on the sandwich I don't need it on the side too!"
"haha, yeah, that's true. Some people however do like bread."
"Well I don't. So give me chips."
"Alright, anything else for you sir?"
"Nope that's it."
"Alright that is going to be $6.52"
"Are you serious!? For a sandwich? You should really lower your prices. That's outrageous!"

You do realize that other people, much higher up than me, decide that, and that as an associate trainer, I carry little to no power in not only this story but the company as a whole. 
But maybe I'm expecting too much again. 
I guess I just have high expectations.
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