Growing into our noses.

I have this friend who says that she finally has grown into her nose.

I think that's pretty cool. Well I also think she's a little crazy. I never thought she hadn't grown into it.

But I think it's cool because it gives hope. Hope to the rest of us. Because personally speaking, I don't think I've grown into my nose. And I think I had this fear that I wouldn't ever grow into it. But she gives me hope.

But I actually think she gives me hope for a bigger reason. All this time she was thinking she hadn't grown into her nose. All the while I thought her nose fit her wonderfully. Now either I have some perception problems, or individuals are a little to hard when judging themselves. Personally I think it's the latter.

This friend of mine is one of my dearest friends in the world. I count myself blessed to know her. And to that friend I want to say. You have a lovely nose.

I don't know about you, but I can relate to being a little hard on myself. Actually some of my friends say I am way to hard on myself. They are wrong though, I'm just being realistic with my flaws. If they only knew all the ways I was a screw up. Then they'd be on my side. Actually I tend to think they wouldn't be on my side. They probably wouldn't like me. I think I'll end up alone. Because, well, I'm just a nuisance and a bore.

My friends tell me I'm too hard on myself.

I wish I could tell you that they have convinced me that I am. I wish I could tell you that I had this realization that this all wasn't true. Then I could give you the steps to fixing yourself, if, that is, you found yourself being too hard on you too.

But the truth is. I still believe that I am being realistic. I think that these things are true.



Sometimes I write to try and convince people of the truth that I know is there:
For instance, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you, whoever you are, that Jesus loves you. With a passion that cannot be compared to anything this world has to offer. He isn't an angry guy who wants to smite you. He is watching the horizon anxiously awaiting your return to Him. (story time!) He forgives. He forgives it all. There is literally no distance from Him that you could travel that you would reach a point of being unsaveable. (unsaveable isn't actually even a real word in the english language)


But sometimes

Sometimes I write to try and convince myself of things. It's not because I don't believe what I am writing. I do. I really do. But sometimes I tell you these things, because I need to hear them for myself.

I actually do this a lot in life. If I am ever really discouraged or depressed or lonely, odds are I am trying to encourage and help build someone else up. I am telling them how much I appreciate them or what they mean to me, because I know what it's like when we don't get told that a lot. I know what it's like to feel forgotten. And I want to let them know, without a doubt, that I genuinely love them and care about them. I don't want to ever have them wonder about my feelings towards them.

It's the not knowing that really gets people. Because when things aren't clear, when they're just left unsaid, we fill in meaning. And like I said before, I think people have a tendency to be hard on themselves. When I'm left to fill in the meaning: it doesn't turn out well. I think I'm too hard on myself sometimes.



Today, today I got a call from my friend. He's a brother to me. He's been there for everything. Today he told me what he thought about me. I knew he wasn't just making this stuff up to make me feel better or good about myself. It was genuine, and it was very out of the blue. I cannot sum up in words how much this meant to me.

But I just want to say thank you.

Really, thank you. It was exactly what I needed today.


And you, who are reading this. I want to let you know, that I think you are probably awesome. I mean your reading this, if nothing else you've got good taste.

And to all of you, besides maybe Owen Wilson- and that's a strong maybe, you all have wonderful and lovely noses. Rest assured in that fact tonight.

(Owen if you ever read this I would like to say you have a fine and distinct nose, just not lovely, I do mean no offense)


I like meeting and getting to know new people. I'd like to get to know you.
[email protected]. Write me sometime.